Esther de la Cruz Roda-Sanidad (June 30, 1924 - March 22, 2011)

Auntie Esther

by Alvin Roda

We just arrived last night from the few precious days spent with the Rodas and Sanidads and others in Toronto Canada honoring, remembering, and sharing the memory of wonderful Auntie Esther. I wanted to share with you some moments and thoughts of these remarkable few days.

First, I came away from this experience with a profound and deep realization of what a true loving family of many generations - the Sanidads, the Rodas, and mostly Auntie Esther – brought to this world. When I saw utter desolation, the unfathomable emptiness and sorrow that Auntie Esther's children, grandchildren and great-grand-children genuinely and spontaneously experienced and expressed, I knew this was the ultimate measure of how loved, how utterly loved, Auntie Esther was. At the services, child after child, grandchild after grandchild, spoke voluminously about the love that Auntie Esther gave them for so many many years. It was immediately apparent that Auntie Esther’s flood of love was not encapsulated in one or two grand events, but from thousands of small moments that she showered her family with over the decades.

My cousins, there are no words that can describe the sorrow and emptiness that was expressed by her family with Auntie Esther’s passing . She is so utterly missed. I truly have never seen a family so unbearably spent and mournful by a loss of a loved one.

But, such sorrow would not exist, if not for the fact that the same degree of joy and love was shared, given and so freely poured out by Auntie Esther. If Auntie Esther had not given so much love, there would not be so much desolation from her passing.

At the last memorial service immediately before the burial, about 20 of Auntie Esther’s grandchildren and great grandchildren came up front and sang “There is a Quiet Place”. There are no words. There are no words. What a beautiful tribute and what a beautiful family.

If a person’s legacy is measured by the love that is carried on by children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and more - then our quiet, coquettish, mischievous, adorable, and exquisitely beautiful Auntie Esther is one of the world’s unsung greatest.

Second, it could not be passed over that this occasion occurred on the 1 year anniversary of Uncle Pros’ passing. During the final memorial service, I sat beside Auntie Lou who played the organ at the beginning and end of the service. It was not lost on me that throughout the lives of myself and my cousins of the east coast, Auntie Lou has been a constant, a perpetual, and an absolute. As the Rodas slowly pass, I come to understand how integral these loved ones of the previous generations have been to our lives. Simply having mom, dad, Uncle Pros, Auntie Lou, Auntie Esther and all the other “elders” in my life has given me the assurance that all things in life are OK. But as, one by one, these absolutes, these constants, pass, I find myself missing a small portion of security and assurance that no matter what, all will be well. I realize now, that these Aunties, Uncles, older Manang and Manongs, Lolu, and Lolas, always have given me a sense that the world is fine, that we always have that guidance, comfort, answers and companionship of our elders. I project in my mind to the time that when I will not have dad and mom to call, to ask, to solicit advice and most importantly, to have as a friend. I realize how much of my life has been shaped by them. Mostly, to have my parents, my elders, within a phone call’s distance, I now realize, has given me, throughout my entire life, precious, irreplaceable peace of mind.

But back to the main point. Sitting beside Auntie Lou, I realized how much of an absolute and constant she has been in my life and the lives of those closest to her. And even more, how gallantly and bravely she has carried herself not only through the past year, but through her entire life as a member of the Roda family. For as many of the thousands of Roda occasions that I can recall, Auntie Lou was always one of those that you greeted and hugged. To unconsciously know and at times expect that Auntie Lou is always there, always a part of all things Roda, is as constant as morning.

Lastly, the second most profound dynamic (after the memory of Auntie Esther) is the “rediscovery” of the “lost” Rodas. For as long as I can remember, I cannot recall spending anything more than a fleetingly introduction or greeting to Delia, Misseal, Andrew, and Jude Edwin, who were, including Manang Winda, the children of Auntie Ebec. For many reasons, they have never felt part (or in the words of one of them, worthy) of inclusion in the Alvaro Roda, Sr. family. For the first time, the Roda’s had a chance to envelope and embrace these “strangers”. We discovered how reluctant they were to fully join our Roda experiences. I am so proud of our family in that we immediately reached out to them and made them promise that they 1) would start being involved with as many things Roda as possible, 2) that they know they are utterly welcome in our family and that they shall no more feel that we (the Rodas) look at them in any other light than love and inclusion, and 3) if they ever fail to appear at a Roda occasion we will hunt them down without quarter and with extreme prejudice.

Finally, I apologize that what started as a brief snapshot of these last days has turned into a mini-series. But, this occasion so profoundly affected me,that I wanted to share it with you. This seeming tragedy – the passing of Auntie Esther - which was moments of weeping, sorrow, memory, laughter, and communion brought so many unseen and unexpected sparkles of beauty. It yet is another example of the legacy of Auntie Esther.

It is so important that we all include ourselves in the upcoming Roda reunion. I don’t want the occasions to be with my entire and prodigious family limited to only weddings and funerals. This is THE reason for Roda Reunion. As my father spoke in his final tribute to Auntie Esther (and also that of Lola)– we simply must promise “I will be there”.